Forget-Me-Not

J-E has been growing these forget-me-nots for me.  ♥  He has such a green thumb!  He always has plants and flowers growing everywhere.  =)

Lately I have been wondering, is it possible to deliberately forget someone or something that happened to you?  I am constantly being told that my past is what makes me who I am today, and to lose it would be to lose a big part of what makes me, me.  However, if I could just forget some of my past, I think it would be for the better.  To simply forget would mean I could just erase my complexes and anxieties in the snap of a finger.  If it had never happened to me, I would never have needed to rise above it, and I would not bear the scars of my past that weigh so heavily on my heart.  I just want to feel normal again, whatever normal is.

There are so many things I would like to remember instead.  Like all the days and nights I spent raising my daughter ALONE.  What I would give to replace all my memories with that solitude!  Just to have an empty space in my memories instead of so much fear and pain.  The idea occurred to me when J-E asked if he could love me today, tomorrow, next week, next month, etc.  And then he asked if he could love me yesterday, and 10 years ago.  So of course I told him yes, and then a smile crept across my face.  What I would give to replace my memories with dreams of what he and I would have done together all those years ago!

Reminds me of Shakespeare...





I know I can't erase my past...  No matter how much I wish for it, I will never be able to forget.  But, a girl can dream!!