It's a wonderful feeling to have someone stand up for you. It's something I haven't experienced very often in my life. When I think back on it, I can only really remember one specific time that someone stood up for me until this year. During my freshman year of high school, my gym teacher was being a real asshole to me. One day, he and my classmates upset me so much that I had to go home from school. My father called my gym teacher that afternoon and gave him a real earful for how he was treating me, and basically told the man that he would lose his job at the school if he messed with me again. Other than that, I don't remember people standing up for me when I was mercilessly teased and treated like crap at school over the years. You'd better believe I stood up for other kids I went to school with, though! I was painfully unpopular, and I would always extend my friendship to other students who were outcast much like myself. By the time I was a senior, a lot of students in my grade had matured enough to leave me alone, but I was often asked why I was friends with such "losers." It really hurt me to see other kids go through what I had experienced, and I would always tell people who asked that they were assholes for treating the outcast kids so unfairly. Sometimes you find that the people who've been treated the worst are the most likely and willing to treat you with kindness when you're one of the few people in their lives who treat them with dignity.
Sometimes good people end up in bad situations. Sadly, I am one of those people who ended up in a really nasty situation because I was too kind and trusting. I gave my cretin of an ex far too many chances, forgave him way too many times. There were a few times that I asked people for help when he was hurting me. I have watched as people stare right through me, looking me right in the eye, only to turn their backs and walk away, refusing to call the police. There were times that I begged people to make him stop hurting me, and they simply looked the other way. I understand sometimes people don't want to get involved, but to leave a defenseless woman at her husband's mercy while he chokes the life out of her and drags her around by her hair is just deplorable. It sickens me to know that people can turn the other cheek on behavior like that. Nobody ever stood up for me. I was trapped in an abusive marriage for years, and there were plenty of people who witnessed the abuse, but nobody ever told him to stop. I lost so much faith in the goodwill of humankind because of this. But honestly, I suppose one could chalk that up to the loss of naivety. What happened to me during that marriage was terrible and painful, and I wish I could erase it. But at the same time, in spite of the horribleness of it all, I suppose I have to admit that I have grown because of it. Grown wise from it, that is. What a shitty way to learn a lesson like that...
Since meeting J-E, I have begun to experience something very foreign to me. He stands up for me. He not only stands up for me; I've seen him stand up for my daughter, his best friend, and plenty of other people in our lives. J-E has called my ex on being a complete shitbag a few times now. He's stood up for me, telling my ex how disgusting his behavior was. He stands up for my daughter, too. My ex is allowed to call her on the phone once a night, and at times J-E has had to call him out for being such a deadbeat piece of worthless crap because he doesn't call her every day like he is supposed to and he'll just hang up on her when he wants to if she doesn't say the things he wants to hear. It means a lot to me that J-E stands up for us. After all the years my daughter and I spent isolated with nobody to help us, it's an awesome feeling to have someone around who's got your back.
Last night, J-E's best friend called him up and told him that he'd spoken with someone in customer service at a store, and that they'd been really rude to him and then hung up on him. J-E called the store himself, spoke with the same lady on the phone, and after she was equally rude to him and hung up on him also, he called back and gave her a nice earful for being so rude. ;) Granted, it was behavior just shy of crank calling, but it was hilarious and a little heartwarming in a twisted way at the same time. =P J-E has always stood up for this friend of his, and I find it to be one of his most admirable traits.
Along the same lines as last night...I got a "wrong number" phone call this afternoon. After telling the person they had the wrong number, a few minutes passed and a voicemail showed up on my phone. This creep had called back to say that I "sounded cute" over the phone and that if I didn't have a boyfriend he "hoped I would call him back and maybe we could meet up or something." UGH! Soooo my wonderful knight in shining armor called this perv back up on the phone. What an earful this guy got from J-E!
Today, I just keep thinking about how nice it is to have someone stand up for me after all these years! =) Has anyone ever stood up for you? Have you ever stood up for someone else?
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